Next stop: Taipei

Hope y'all had a good Christmas, I got a fair few presents but only gave one, which made it kind of awkward、but thankfully the Japanese aren't too bothered about Christmas so I didn't ruffle any feathers. We also had heaps of snow every day this December, but on Christmas evening we got sleet, which made a mess of the local festivities.

Heh. Anyway, off to Taiwan in an hour, for Chinese-style celebrations and tasty delicacies.

Happy New Year one and all!

お正月良い～！

New Library

Hushed; but bustling with hundreds of people. Light and airy, dozens of high-speed internet terminals, browsing galleries of magazines and comics, free rentals for two weeks on CDs, DVDs and books, over half-a-dozen check-out counters.

This is the new central library, and it feels totally different from anything I've experienced in the UK.

Israel #6: The Wailing Wall

The Wailing Wall. Imposing, wall-like, worshipped in a way that seems to jar quite badly with my pre-conceived notions of God-worship. No idols, right? Anyway, it's impressive enough, and it amused me that I could enter where Tamar couldn't (women get a small screened-off section of wall to the far right).


These pious-looking types will just spontaneously gather and when they reach a quorum all sorts of murmuring and head-nodding will kick off, in orders of magnitude greater than they can achieve alone.


So the idea is that whatever you write on a scrap of paper and stuff into the wall will be read by God. I figured I might as well do so, and wedged my slip of paper in amongst all the others. Much later an Israeli said to me "So what did you ask for?" to which I replied "Wait. What? I was supposed to ask for something?".


This is the closest I got to the amazing mosque in Jerusalem, as just a little futher down the road there were eight soldiers with big guns who informed me that only muslims were permitted to go any further. Note that all these folk are men, and all are headed away from the mosque.

Israel #5: The Church of the Holy Sepulchre

A place of hushed murmuring, candles and cold stone; site of Christ's sepulchre.

A place as holy as this, in a city as contested as Jerusalem, is naturally a hotspot of religious one-upmanship. I heard it operated on a kind of time-share system, where each respective sect gets to do their necessary ablutions in rotation.

Ohad told a tale of one sect barricading itself in and changing all the locks overnight. The police were summoned, but were powerless as they couldn't damage a protected building! Drawn-out negotiations led to a resolution, but it's an apt illustration of the constant sectarian tensions at work.

Depicted: The slab where Jesus was laid out prior to burial; The sepulchre; The roof.

First boarding of the season!

Adam finds a hole!

I love translation software!

This may be the best way to read my blog after all.

An extract:

Israel 3rd: War

"When I s - Christ returns to this world, you walk on this hill", it was predicted. So the Messiah does not insert in the graveyard.

Directly, the former times Turkish citizen conquers Jerusalem and increase is. Because the Turkish citizen thought the yes - Christ there is no Messiah, the wide graveyard was raised that time!

You think as the funny story.

Or this:

Prototype

This is the Bu log of my Japanese. Because the expert it is not, Japanese you practice. When it does to be wrong please teach! As for Bu log of prototype:

Http: //benkyonoben.blogspot.com

Please read with English! As for the Bu log of English you think it is funnier than this Bu log.

And for an example of translation software when it really gets going, check this out.

Israel #4: My namesake!

...well, kind of. Up on Mount Zion, site of the Last Supper and sundry other Christian shenanigans, can be found the Hagia Maria Sion Abbey, spiritual home of the Benedictine monks! I managed to take a cheeky shot of St. Benedict himself before the caretaker gruffly forbade any attempts to get a pally shot of two Benedicts in one frame.

勉強のベンのブログが始まりました

宜しくお願いします！

Israel #3: Holy wars

Apologies for the lack of fact-finding on this one, but the story behind this picture, related to me by Ohad, is one I like (true or not!)

According to one religion it is prophecised that when the messiah returns to Jerusalem he will come from this direction, straight over the hill in the picture. This religion also venerates Jesus as a spiritual leader who, among other things, is forbidden from walking through graveyards.

All this would be fine if not for the fact that when the Turks conquered Jerusalem they installed this massive cemetary right in his path to prevent the second coming!

Fucking genius, I tell you.

The mish-mash of (sometimes violently opposed) religions in the holy hot spot of the world makes for some really interesting situations. More on this later.

Israel #2: Houmous

This one mainly for the Japanese crowd, as everyone wants to know 'what do Israeli's eat?'
Supermarket plastic-container houmous was rejected by these two as being virtually inedible. Instead you should go to a place like Humus Lina which makes up two vats of a morning then closes shop by the time they sell out. Not a bad way to do business.

Actually, I loved the idea of houmous as a meal in itself, covered in chickpeas, olive oil, tahini, garlic, lemon juice and spices. Scoop it out with unlimited pitta or, even better, raw onion.

Very tasty, mighty fine dining.

Israel #1: The Dead Sea

Road blocks and kids with guns, a staple part of your Israel experience, especially within spitting distance of Jericho (Palestine territory).
From left: Eyal, Tamar and Michele, the perfect stillness of the Dead Sea behind.

It seriously looked like beyond the edge of the earth was just sky, especially at points where you couldn't see Jordan or any mountains on the horizon. Very surreal.
Around 30-35% salt, you float without effort and are suspended without ripples in the greasy solution. Although clear, you can see oily, salty streams when you disturb the water. It burns open sores, eyes and lips - I got a tiny splash in the corner of one eye and it stung! It will also destroy anything metallic and it burns your crotch after a while (or your 'crunch' as Eyal used to call it).

After a short scavenge we found a good mud supply and caked ourselves just as the sun was going down, supposed to be healthy, more like a good laugh. Slimy golems.

Arty still-a-bit-muddy shot (read: broken autofocus). Note the lack of ripples.

After the sun went down the water temperature did something weird: It felt so cold right at the point where water met air, but the air and water still felt warm.

We avoided the developed spots, since Eyal knew a good natural spring to wash off in. Felt like a sand jacuzzi, you could actually immerse yourself in moving sand up to the waist as it churned around you.

The Dead Sea, over 400m below sea level (making it the lowest point of land in the world folks!) and probably the strangest place I have ever been...

Capsule hotels

Stacked like battery hens.

Battery hens with TVs and plenty of head room.

Capsule hotels: Complete with basement jacuzzi, sauna, lounge and instant noodle dispensers; Disposable everything for your personal grooming; Internet and manga storage on the top floor; Silent pyjama-clad businessmen padding softly through the halls or jerking off to the non-stop porn channel; Tickets from the entrance vending machine in one-night, morning/evening or 3 hour varieties.

Here's me, number 317. Snug as a bug in a ru... cocoon.

Israel here I come

Leaving today. Yet to pick up my clothes from the laundrette, pack, eat breakfast et al. Will get right on it.

Precious minerals, the consumption of

And for your next culinary experience: Gold! Yup, that's right folks, salmon egg sushi topped with the finest of gold shavings for your dining pleasure.

Common in the new year medley of traditional foods and wedding dishes, we were assured it's all good for you.

I jokingly suggested some silver to finish off the meal, and was informed that it is used in some soba dishes, but wasn't to be found on this restaurant's menu.

My net worth has increased by a small amount, at least until I visit the toilet.

I very much like to eat

My (English) colleague knows how much I love Japlish, so bought me these fantastically wrapped almond pastry thingies. Most excellent. Unlike the author I am not very sticky about meals, but these were good.

Look! Pink Puddin'

This student's pencil case cracked me up. It's just so anachronistic...

In entirely unrelated news I'm off to Israel for two weeks soon! Probably won't take a camera, but the pictures in my head will be pretty damn cool.

Meantime there'll likely be no updates from the 16th-31st.

Jazzy

Impromptu street-side jazz with box and yukata. Enjoyed dancing with these guys.

Grapes

Grape husks, discarded at a Filipina's birthday party. No-one else could undertand why I found this so funny, and when I convinced my girlfriend to try eating a whole grape, instead of sucking out the inside, she chewed it for a bit then took it out declaring it be 'kacchi' (or similar, have to look that up)

The grapes over here taste like wine anyway, so I don't eat them much.

Scorn!

This from a friend in Miyazaki. Friendly despite the sign apparently.

Not what I expected to see in the toilets

NSFW: All shapes and sizes <-- NSFW means not safe for work folks! Don't bitch to me if your boss sees this over your shoulder, as I'll just find it amusing. I like the picture anyway.

And it's a shame I missed this little event...

Sometimes I wish my phone camera didn't suck so much

Best bit of Japlish I've seen in a while. The subscript reads: AN EFFORT ISN'T SPARED TO NOTICE AN ANSWER

Halloween, a while back

Matt, aka 'Ampaman' or 'one of the few cool people left in Hakodate', is shown here flanked by two beautiful ladeez and some random chick who clearly isn't having as much fun. Ampaman is an anthropomorphic 'apaman' or sweet bun. Is there anything the Japanese can't slap a pair of eyes and a smile on? I think not.
The karaoke densha is another 'only in Japan' kind of idea - a tram you can hire out for the night and cruise around town in, picking up anyone you like the look of at the stops while singing karaoke and getting bladdered.

Long departed Zach is loaning out his wig, but still wearing the slightly-too-small schoolgirl outfit and proudly displaying his manly fur and tats.
This picture I sat on for a while because I look so damned awful in it. Wearing a kimono 'backwards', shades of grey, the white triangle, pale face, all indicate my deadness, to the amusement of many. We're here in the best burnt down and no longer with us bar in town - Beer Bellies, your name lives on.

I'm quite distressed that Chihiro is too embarassed to wear that dress on any other occasion than Halloween, it's slink-eh sexy.

Small town festival

Another cool thing about our trip to Esan was the festival we stumbled across: Mikoshi (the portable shrine above), fireworks and dancing were a nice bonus to the camping experience. Yosakoi dancing is a great laugh, and is a style that was resurrected by a couple of students at a Hakodate university about 30 years ago. Since then it's become amazingly popular throughout Hokkaido and even the rest of Japan. The dancers below were of mixed ability (check the out of step chubby kid!), but it did give me a good taste of what is an essentially cool cultural dance.
Some fool said there weren't enough pictures of Chihiro on the site, so it's not like I need any more prompting than that. Shame I always look so grey-haired and pasty in pictures next to her, but what the hey, camera flash is not my friend.

Kawai~~

I expected this little lass to miss her lesson on Saturday night in favour of the Yunokawa festival, but from what I gathered from her mum she was keen on coming in and showing it off! Soooo cute =)

Surfers

Out in all conditions - rain or shine, waves or no, these guys just don't give a damn.
Despite the sub-zero temperatures for half the year and the lack of any decent waves there is a small but dedicated surfing community in Hakodate and nearby Esan. Unlike surfing communities everywhere else in the world, these guys are really friendly and welcome rank beginners with open arms, tasty barbeques and board loans. Yay.

Keito!

Winner of the 'most-likely-to-visit' award in recognition of her all-round greatness. Depicted here in her natural habitat, demonstrating her deft mastery of simultaneous smoking and drinking.

Have fun in Scotland, and good luck in Uganda!

Lots of love

Random street scenes

In many ways it's these trivial things that maintain my interest in Japan and in living here. You just don't get scenes like this when you go shopping in the UK, and although it's easy to get blase about them after being here for a few years they really are quite wonderful.

I especially like the way those guys are just sitting around the security guard, who remains standing.

Natto

Since I ran out of muesli (bought from the only foreign food store in Hakodate) I've reverted to eating the tasty traditional Japanese breakfast you see here. It smells like it looks, but these things grow on you.

mmm... fermented soy beans. You have to wonder who it was that originally thought the soy beans going off in his/her larder might make a tasty snack with soy sauce and rice.

Men at work

This says 'we'll do everything possible to be nice and friendly and incovenience you as little as possible so we humbly request that you cooperate with us'. Or something like that.

A typical public service poster with obligatory cute cartoon. I can't help thinking that UK signs would benefit from taking the same approach.

(and yes, the police signs and all the other village people are represented in exactly the same style!)

High school festivals

These were created by my favourite goth student, who seems to spend every waking hour slaving over her craft.

















Painted nails. Essential for any high school rebel.






































Cool painting.

I was totally blown away by the amount of effort that had gone into this festival. Three days, during which the sheer volume of creativity on display would be enough to stun me even if it weren't all of such a high standard!

There were films, dramas, songs, dances, banners, artwork, stall after stall of cool stuff... all created by students who'd devoted months of their lives to the event. Wish I'd been a bit more snappy with the camera.